Single Gay Shock Syndrome (SGSS)

I’m partly fascinated, bemused and annoyed whenever I hookup or go on a date with someone and hear: “You’re such a catch, I can’t believe you’re single.” or something along those lines.

This by no means is to attenuate or write about narcissism, because I promise you above anyone else, I’m not — self-esteem is not my strong suit when reading over previous journal entries.

The implication in the question is so clear, it’s almost not even ‘between-the-lines’: something must be wrong with you; I want to know what it is.

As gays, and really as people in general, we’re genetically programmed to judge a book by it’s cover – in this case an individual. Appearance, demeanor, syntax – everything from site to initial speech allow us to code an individual to come to initial judgements and summary which guide our next steps of interaction.

Appearance wise, I clearly must be making the cut. Career, education and cadence are all in my corner – so it leaves those wondering with curiosity to know what’s happening under the covers to determine and gauge the risks of engagement.

While enticing to play rat & mouse, I’m interested that we’ve developed this culture in which a minority who currently has a few demeaning to no rights at all, still has the same expectations to meet someone, fall in love, be in a relationship and live happily ever after – being removed from market by protocol and leaving a withering pool of statistical anomalies left to find one another.

So as the question comes across my plate, I inevitably realize and think: Now I know why you’re single.

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