We’re often too blind or not objective enough to see that part of the intensity of love, is the vulnerability. This lack of realization is our life on the edge – never truly in control and knowing that what you’ve given of yourself can be taken at a moments notice; regardless of consent. That same flame that burns of passion, can easily burn of anger, pain and hatred – burning by the essence of feelings that we may have been taken advantage of.
One would think that there is refuge or consolation to know that it is something everyone else has gone through in life – perhaps even many times. The jaded teach us that the only way to protect ourselves is to never fall in-love in the first place – but we see that as an empty promise. Or rather, a fulfilled promise of an empty life.
I find it is easier to dilute one’s thinking into the belief that matters of our heart are rooted more in a delusion of permanence than they actually exist in reality. Regardless of gender or sexual identity, it seems that there doesn’t even need to be a crisis or reasonable disagreement that would cause vested parties to depart. It seems ever more evident to discover simple boredom as enough to increase the divide between two lovers. We then seem to move forward, treating dating and romance as a mere app-store of selection and fun.
But our dating needs to be based on a better and stronger sense of decency. All of us, hopefully, have feelings and are not actually operating with the hope of being used. When we find that the object of our affection no longer garners the same level of interest we once had, both involved parties are entitled to informed consent before any type of malingering or malfeasance occurs. Our conduct and rules-of-engagement should reflect the idealism that we were always hoping to achieve or gain from another; that is how to define decency – and further, how to respect the intensity of our emotions.
If the feelings that kindled a nurturing couples connection subside, and no longer exist, the matter of decency still prevails. The relationship is not over, simply because your love is not the same. Decency means recognizing that the other individual is not a person to be used and enjoyed so long as there is pleasure to be derived. Doing so, only enables one (or both) of the individuals be to mistreated – cheated on and discarded whenever something more attractive comes along.
Regardless of the race you identify with; regardless of straight versus gay, male versus female – all people have feelings and are not there to simply be used. Once we identify and see that the object of our affection no longer maintains the interest, they are as equally entitled to be informed and aware – regardless of how scared it may make you to disclose it.
Through our lives, we’ll encounter moments when we realize that we cannot seem to commit to this other person we’ve invited in. However, we’re all able to be committed to the ideals of moral decency through respectable conduct.